It’s the tail end of my senior year in high school and my life has been so busy lately! I felt horrible about it, but today I skipped the first half of the school day to lay around and watch a movie with my sister. I needed the rest because it’s been weeks since I rested up. Reports, projects, photography, work, a week-long trip to the east coast (post about that coming soon)…

I wouldn’t have it any other way, though, because being busy means being around great people all the time (at least in my case it does). I love school and homework and writing and volunteering and working (well.. making money anyway). Sleep can and does go on the back burner more often than it should. But I have to keep reminding myself, only a few more weeks and then I’m done with high school forever!

Check it:

This is my new favorite picture. I don’t know why; I’ve never watched anything anime or ever liked it really. But I HEART this picture! It’s my desktop background.

She’s pretty

Hugs! Have a great day everyone!

Letting blogging go lent me some spare time and took off quite a bit of stress for a while, but now I think I should come back to it. But not with such an emphasis on food. Actually, I’d love to just.. write on here. And perhaps have one meal per post?

Let’s start with this!

About a month ago I recieved a package in the mail from FFB (Fantastic Fellow Blogger!) Agnes (http://www.agnesworldofveganpleasures.blogspot.com/) Inside were some of the best – who am I kidding, the best! – raw goodies I’ve ever sampled! Starting at top left and going clockwise we have: a raw energy bar, raw apricot square (I think she made this herself?), a mini card, chocolate chili tea (to die for), raw chocolate balls, two loaves of essene bread (one rye, one raisin-rye), bio-mangoes; and in the middle: a box/keychain/pen set and some raw organic real chocolate!

It’s been a while since this package came so I’m a little late in saying this, but, THANK YOU AGNES!

Meal of the Day:

the Breakfast Cookie!

Almond butter- raisin flavored.

peanut butter flavored!

Blueberry-vanilla-almond flavored! with frothy coffee

Question of the Day: Writers, what inspires you to write? Were you born with the skill of words, or does it take practice, does your word muscle in your brain need exercise?

I can assure you it’s for a good reason

I think (fingers crossed- so far so good!) that I have a normal relationship with food now. A couple weeks ago I began getting more exercise (running, working more hours, etc.) so I figured, hey, I need to refuel properly. AKA, I can eat what I want. So I did. I ate what I wanted, I ate when I wanted, and I did this for a week, and you know what? The world didn’t fall apart. I didn’t even gain a pound. I feel healthy, in fact. By ignoring the rules of food, food no longer controls my life.

If you’re wondering what my “eating pattern” is now, it falls under the simple category of eating according to hunger level. Some days are breakfast, lunch, snack, snack, dinner, snack; some are breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner; and believe it or not, a couple times I just had breakfast, lunch, dinner. But each of those days, I ate according to hunger level. I’ve always been good at listening to my body’s hunger cues, and now that I don’t ignore them (!) I can fuel my body properly.

If I ever need an example of how to eat, I can look at my sister. She’s never had anything near an eating disorder. Whereas she eats a couple hundred calories every couple hours, my eating disorder would never allow such “mayhem.” I had to sit down to three proper meals a day, or I was a “failure.” Eating when I wasn’t hungry was never a problem (I’m always hungry! ), but I would often wait hours to eat even if I was starving, because it wasn’t “mealtime” yet. I realize now that this isn’t normal; people who eat three meals a day do so because it takes 5-6 hours for them to feel hungry again after a meal. I, as a growing teenager, should not force my body to wait for food.

When I am hungry, and there is no food available, I have to realize that I will live. When there’s plentiful food in the house, I feel that I can wait a couple hours until I’m hungry. But if I’m planning on going away from home, even if just to a friend’s house, I eat before I leave, whether I’m hungry or not. That’s something I haven’t conquered yet, but I will. If I can erase my “meal times,” then I can get rid of this strange worry, too.

Food is no longer like an idol that I obsess over, take pictures of, think about constantly. It’s more like a friend to me now. It’s there, it helps me stay alive, but I don’t watch everything it does or take notes about everything it “says.” It’s just… there.

Having a blog helped me along this path of recovery, there’s no question about that.

Haha, sorry, I’m watching America’s Next Top Model so I’m talking like Tyra!

Let’s get to the food, shall we?

After that scrumptious breakfast, I lasted a long time until I needed lunch. On my run I noticed that the sun was shining! At first I took it for granted but then I realized that usually doesn’t happen around here until spring! For the rest of the run I soaked up the sun and intently listened to the birds singing in the trees around me, and it was very peaceful. Running is so much more worth it in the springtime. And springtime is officially here.

While my lunch was cooking, I had a little snack plate of a small Honeycrisp apple and a plum (they’re in that picture way up there ^).

This is what I was patiently waiting for in the oven.  After seeing this picture can you wonder why? A sweet potato (11 oz.) baked at 375 degrees for 50 minutes, split open and topped with cottage cheese on one half and a liberal spoonful of almond butter on the other. On the side, perfect steamed broccoli.

You all know how I love bread! So I couldn’t make it through this meal without some. I snatched the very last homemade blueberry waffle for “lunch dessert.” Completely white and nutritionally void, but oh so good!

For dinner tonight I had something I don’t normally eat: pasta! For the longest time it was a fear food for me but now it’s no big deal at all. For basically my first time cooking pasta that isn’t mac n’ cheese, I boiled some twirly whole wheat noodles, and topped them with a sauce made from a bottled Italian mushroom- flavored sauce, and mixed in frozen green beans (shh.. you’re not supposed to know they were frozen!) and chickpeas. So simple and fabulous, it only took 15 minutes to make.

As a night snack/ homework distraction I nibbled on a few strawberries and a kiwi, and I’m currently sipping on green tea.

I hope all of you had as good of a day as I did. Goodnight!

Verse of the Day: “They that sow in tears shall reap in joy.” Psalm 126:5

Spinach, mushrooms, grape tomatoes, broccoli, and hummmussss (with red pepper and pine nut toppings!). It was ok, but I was totally not feeling salady at all, so after eating less than half, I switched to a peanut butter sandwich and an apple. By that time I was tired of taking pictures, so luckily I ate something very easy for you to imagine! Hehe.

You guys, I’m so excited for our friend Chocolate-Covered Katie‘s (formerly Chocolate Covered Vegan) ‘s Chocolate-Covered Giveaway! In the spirit of competition, for breakfast this morning I made her Banana Brulee Oatmeal. Honestly, my first thought was, ‘oh I’ve made this before, it’s oats with banana! yum!’ but oh boy was I wrong! I have never tasted such amazing oatmeal before- ever! I’m going to have to try very hard not to eat this at every meal for the rest of my life.

Here it is in all its caramelized goodness. Besides the given banana topping, I added a small sprinkle of raw hazelnuts, some cinamon, raisins, and half of a super-crunchy honey granola bar.

Oh my goodness you guys. Make this.

 I ate a very late breakyfast today. I forgot. This is a sliced banana and some peanut butter wrapped in a whole wheat tortilla. So simple and so filling!

Lunch was fantabulous! It’s so elegant looking. On that beautiful plate is one slice of Ezekiel bread, toasted, a vegan Boca burger, tomato and avocado slices, and a swirl of barbecue sauce. Yum.

Chocolate Cheesecake Oats

Lunchypoo

A delectable snack: whole grain fig newton crumbled into vanilla yogurt

Pb porn, mwahaha

Snickerdoodle Oats, side of cottage cheese with black pepper

Vegan Peanut Butter Muffins, recipe coming soon!

Ezekiel toast, one with almond butter and the other with peanut butter, sweet sliced strawberries and banana

The strawberry-banana theme again: oatmeal with strawberries, banana, almond butter, and a crumbled peanut butter muffin

A very colorful lunch: spinach, falafel, sweet peppers, and barbecue sauce in a whole wheat wrap, a baggie of grape tomatoes + a kiwi, and an orange, which I only ate half of and gave the other half to my friend who loves oranges

Verse of the Day: “And Jesus answered him, saying, it is written that man shall not live on bread alone, but by every word of God.” Luke 4:4

It’s difficult to know what to blog about when I don’t even have myself figured out completely. I’m not sure what my “eating style” is… or even what I like to eat. I’m easily influenced when it comes to food, I eat what my friends are eating or what I decide I’d like to eat for the day/week/month/whatever. One thing I have stuck to is vegetarianism. That was my decision and my decision alone, and through ridicule and other struggles I’ve persevered. I’m very proud of that.

But I’d like to have an eating style I can maintain my whole life. Not this sporadic eat healthy-eat crappy- eat healthy cycle I’ve got going. It’s tough but hopefully one day I’ll find my balance.

One way in which I’ve found balance is in making my life about so much more than food. At the same time, though, I’d like to put a lot of effort and time into what I eat because when I eat well I feel good. Also, when I lose track of the “importance” of eating right, I slip into the “crappy eating” mode.

I overthink things. Thank you for being here for me to vent/rant to.

Have a fine day my foodie friends! ♥

Josie

Ok, one more thing I wanted to mention. Yeh.. my name’s not Josie! [don't hate me please!] My name’s Kaila, and I want you all to know that cuz I don’t wanna lie to y’all!

I kept my name a secret cuz I thought it’d be “safer”- you know, since this is the internet and such. Do you all use fake names too? OK now I feel like a dork.

Well… goodnight.

Which meant an early breakfast! This certainly helped wake me up. (The coffee played a part in the waking-up, too.) Microwaved sausages + 2 eggs, seasoned with black pepper. On the side, a whole wheat fig newton spread with just a bit of peanut butter. Probably a teaspoon, though I didn’t measure.

I zombied my way through morning classes and then took a break for this lunch. Almond butter, apple slices, and raisins wrapped in a whole wheat tortilla. In the baggie, chopped carrots and the rest of the apple (which I didn’t eat).

After school, a very long nap was in order. It helped a lot! When I woke up I was famished so I whipped up a “breakfast for dinner.” First, some strawberry yogurt with multigrain cheerios. Simple, but a lil festival for my mouth! Sweet strawberry, yum!

Then, two more sausages. I finally finished the package! Usually this would not be a good thing but my mom won’t let me go food shopping until I use up some freezer goods.

Last but not least, I ate an apple. No picture; you know what an apple looks like!

I don’t think I’m going to have any dessert tonight because I’m so tired, I’ll probably just go to bed soon. Goodnight all! <3

Verse of the Day: “Praise be to the name of God for ever and ever; wisdom and power are His. He changes times and seasons; He sets up kings and deposes them. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning. He reveals deep and hidden things; He knows what lies in darkness, and light dwells with Him.” Daniel 2:20-22